NOT MY ORDINARY CHRISTMAS


I Love Christmas! Seriously, I love everything about it. Family, friends, food, church, decorations, etc. I’m not a fan of the shopping and guessing what people want for Christmas but, besides that, I love Christmas. 

However, this Christmas things are a little different and my family is a little smaller. This Christmas is the first one without my big brother Erwins and it’s kind of heartbreaking that my kids won’t be receiving an obnoxious toy from Uncle Erwins, that’s way too big and noisy, that we won’t even be able to fit in our suitcase to bring back to Haiti.

This Christmas is going to be difficult. As family was preparing to come visit me, my wife and the kids, I was thinking of what kind of things we could cook, what type of drinks we should have, and what we will do. I realized that all of my ideas, from buffalo wings to beer to watching cheesy Christmas movies, and seeing who has more swag as we dress for Christmas, are things that would mostly be appreciated by my brother and how it’s not the same without him.

I’m really going to miss him. Thinking about this brings me back to that phone call from my parents on May 6th at 11:30pm, when they told me that my brother was murdered. I find myself  asking some of the same questions: Why now? Why did my brother have to be taken the way he did? Why so tragically, why such violence? Why does my family, especially my kids, have to try to celebrate this holiday without our brother, son, uncle, friend that we loved so much? And lastly, what is God’s plan in all of this? 

I’m not sure I’ll ever understand. But I hope and hold on to the fact that 2000 years ago Jesus became man, came into the world through a virgin to save you, me and my brother, Erwins. This Christmas, though it is about family, friends, food, church, decorations, etc., in a brand new way, it’s about Jesus coming into the world and saving us. At mass, my prayer will be “Jesus, Savior of the world, save us and all the faithfully departed, and in a special way, save Erwins.”

Christmas will never be the same for me; it’s going to hurt for a while. My prayer on Christmas will forever be changed. The Lord has used this tragedy to help me even better understand the “reason for the season”.

O come, O come Emmanuel,

 Paul


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